I have heard over and over again that it is better to have low expectations because that way your heart will never get broken. Well, I say that is no way to live! Who wants to live in a world where you are always down playing yourself in certain situations. I sure do not. When my husband and I got married, the best advice we got was to having weekly inventories. My husband and I both served missions for the LDS church and when we were given this advice it reminded us of the companionship inventories we were required to have weekly. So at first we laughed it off and thought it was silly idea.
Fast forward 2 months into marriage and we realize it no longer a silly idea. It is SO needed. I have a non conventional personality. Conflict stresses me out and I do not like it one bit. So I bury a lot of my trails and harsh feelings I am having to save myself from the conflict, but when I do start to express myself, It all comes out at once and I start talking about last week's problems and my husband is so confused. So we started doing inventories. We always start by thinking of what frustrated us this week, what the other person could have done differently to help the situation. We always end by saying nice things about the other and we always leave feeling ready for the new week, knowing no conflict or hurt feelings remain.
So I say have high expectations. Expect the absolute best from your spouse. If you are not getting the best, then try and see what you can do differently. See what you can change to make your spouse more likely to reach your expectations. Think about if you are reaching your spouse's expectations, and if you do not have any idea, then sit down and ask what the other wants. Ask them about their hopes and desires for your marriage and build on those.
No comments:
Post a Comment