Everyday Tasks

It's the everyday tasks that make the most difference. Such as showering, brushing your teeth, and eating. These are all things we must do everyday that make our lives better. I feel more awake and happy after I take my morning shower. I feel healthy after brushing my teeth. Eating really makes me feel happy as well. There are different thing that we can do with our spouse to help drawer you closer. There is folding laundry, doing dishes, cleaning the house. These times are great chances to talk with your spouse. I know that many of my worries and concerns about life have been solved by just talking my feelings out to my husband. Through these times, we grow closer to the other person and learn more about them. Becoming comfortable around a person makes it easier to connect. Hard times happen and it makes it easier when you have someone you can turn to.  

Finding the Positives

Some people find it easier to focus on the negative. Others are better able to focus on the positive. In marriage though, focusing on the negative can be very bad. There are some times where I all I can find are negatives about a situation. Sometimes my mindset can quickly turn to me being the victim, and that is a dangerous mindset. Learning to be appreciative and grateful can change everything. I have seen in marriage that the times we are the happiest is when we both understand that the other person is trying. Some days the dishes might not get done. The laundry may still need to be folded. It is nobody's fault though if it doesn't get done. Some days it is not possible to accomplish everything on your to do list. Sometimes you honestly just need a break, and that is okay. It is okay to take a break. I know that Heavenly Father does not expect us to be perfect, and neither should our spouses, and if we do not want our spouses to judge us, we should not judge them. You have each other to be a help mate. To uplift and be there to comfort one another when times get hard. I have seen in my own marriage that when I take the time to uplift my spouse and comfort him when he is struggling he is much more willing to do the same for me when I have my own hard times.

Newlywed

I am a newlywed. My husband and I have almost been married for six months and we have had our ups and downs, but overall I feel very blessed to be married to such a wonderful man. Friendship has been a key in all of this. Before we were married we talked and got to know each other as friends. We realized through those interactions that we wanted to try and be more than friends. I am so grateful that we did. The number one have to do thing that I realized early on is that you need to think about others more than yourself. It is so important to think of the bigger picture. There are times when all I can think about is me, me, and then some more me. I know that when I am in that mindset, I am not help to my husband. I am frustrated that he also is not thinking about me, and it turns into a big fuss. Instead what I need to do, is turn my focus to him. See what I can do to help make his load lighter or to make him happier. Not only does that make him happy, but it helps me to be more Christlike. It helps me to see how the Savior sees him. He is my best friend, and I should always make him a priority in my life. 

The Wolves

Elder Bruce C. Hafen gave a talk titled Covenant Marriage. He talks about three wolves that every marriage is tested by. They are, the natural adversity, imperfections of one another, and excessive individualism. I have only been married for five months, but I can already see these wolves trying to sneak in and make a meal out of my marriage. 

It is easy to blame other people. It is easier to find faults in others than in ourselves. When things arise, and different situations occur, the easy way out it to find fault in the other person. It takes self-reflection and humility to admit that you too are a part of the problem. I know that there are a lot of times where I just want to blame my husband for why the dishes did not get done, or why the house is a mess, but the truth is, there was a lot more I could have done to help the problem in the first place. I find that these wolves cause a lot of resentment between a couple, which drives the spirit out of our home. 

Elder Hafen said "May we restore the concept of marriage as a covenant, even the new and everlasting covenant of marriage. And when the wolf comes, may we be as shepherds, not hirelings, willing to lay down our lives, a day at a time, for the sheep of our covenant. Then, like Adam and Eve, we will have joy." We must keep in mind that marriage is more than a piece of paper. It is a covenant. It is a promise that we made with our spouse and with God. It is everlasting, and it takes work. Like all things that require work, it is worth it. There is nothing that brings me more joy than knowing that I will be with my husband forever.